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you know what kind of p*rn im talking about, I did find it by complete accident via a link in a comment of a hentai post, probably just a bot putting the link to atract people, it was a link to a page with that kind of forbiden images, very soft ones but aparently that page allowed you to pay to see more extreme ones wich its horrible, I did not paied anything, I just watched the "free" ones, and did the horrible act of, you know, mas*urbation, at the moment i finished, i was with tears in my eyes, its been some time since it but i do just feel like i do not deserve to live, i dont want to be this, I did not returned to that page and even I did reported it but aparently you cant find the page without a link, I do not want to be that kind of person, I have anxiety now and feel like a monster and I just want to tell this, im not expecting some good comments or anything, I even want to hear something bad, I know im a inhuman monster and even if I tell myself that i will never gonna do something similar again, I just dont feel to have the right to say that anyway
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This must be very hard for you to talk about, and associate with.
Are you referring to BDSN related stuff though? I am very sorry if I am assuming wrong. But, if it's BSDM style adult material, understand it comes in many styles. Some aren't that inhumane.
For some reason female being the top falls under this, which isn't that bad.
Then you have petplay. There's different kinds, but I will stay focus and won't ho into my preferences on you.
So, with that if you like acting like an animal; crawing on all 4, wearing a leash, it might be more fun then anything.
Then you have ageplay. Consolversal, and not my cup of tea, however I am aware the parties involed aren't actually the ages they are "role-playing " as. This one depends more on the individuals so it goes into further feelings.
However, what must people aren't aware of is; BDSM is a sexual activity for partners, THUS like ANY OTHER thing; the 2 parnters still love eachother.
So after care is done adter the camera is off. Like making you parnter something tasty, cuddling, or telling you you love you them like how any other lovers would 🤷♂️. And, of course most likely removing gear.
LASTLY: SAFE WORDS. Since this is a more dangerous sexual thing, or just pushes boundaries as it more power dynamics than "typical" sexual interactions.
If anyone is uncomfortable or gets seriously hurt they would let their partner know in a way that can't be mixed up for the roleplay.
And, the dom should immediately respect that! Because BDSM requires A LOT OF trust!
Honestly all relationships in my opinion should use safe words and 1st establish trust and acceptance before bedding anyone. But, that's my beliefs.
So as you see, it's not as dark and evil as you think it is. It's not bad nor does it bad YOU a bad person to be turned on by it. We all have our kinks, even if its BDSM or watersports.
But, if your thoughts a deep and still persistent, i strongly suggests calling a hotline. There's is nothing wrong with doing so, and you are very brave. Let yourself heal, and be taking care of. The world would be so much better if more people could have time to heal and get protection from the start.
Good luck on your journey.
ReplySorry, for awkward typing, my old garbage phone is glitchy.
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