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Sorry for my bad grammar but i feel so alone rightnow, but there so many people around me. Growing up i'm a theraphist kind of guy a prodigy a grown-up inside a kids body because i grew in poverty i never feel safe. yes i do feel safe around my parent they're decent at taking care of me but deep down inside i fear everything will fall apart and that never make me feel safe. people say i'm funny but those who close to me know that im more mature for people my age, but actually i'm just good at controling my feeling not manage but control. Even the lowest point of my life even if someone said the most degrading thing about me i can still smile and comfort them. I dont know why but i develop a complex that i want everybody around me to be happy not a people pleaser but i will do the best i can to make people around me at peace, because i alway thought that every people have a right to be happy, and because the world is such a cruel place there should be someone sacrificing their own for other, but this complex starting to backfired this past week i feel so alone for no reason. i feel like no one truly care about me no one really ask me what do i feel or how have i been. I have a girlfriend rightnow she's pretty caring but the moment i talk about my feeling it just to much for her. There are so manything i didnt talk about me or something i need to do to pay my tuition(it's not good) and everytime i want to talk to someone i have a feeling of guilt and shame building around me because i need to done something bad to make money and the person i could trust the most feel overwhelm. That's why i feel the way i feel rightnow lonely couldnt express my feeling, but for some strange reason i don't feel sad i dont feel a thing, but i feel like laughing and soothing for some reason but im a skeptic and i dont know if that a good sign or a bad sign yeah thats about it
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Suffering is not a real condition. It is a point of view that has its roots in resistance. Happiness can't be attained, acquired, earned, or possessed. No situation, substance, object, or relationship can deliver it in a lasting way. It is who and how we are at our core when we are content and feel that all is OK and nothing is missing.
People caring for you will not make you happy. When you accept yourself as you are and as you evolve, your happiness will come to the surface, shine through your presence, and energize your actions. When you help others feel better, you are in your element and you know it. Just let your light shine like this.
Do what you must and give these things the attention they deserve, then just be there as a resource for others. This is what you are meant to do.
Replyim here for you. your not alone
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