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I have no one by my side to talk about this kind of stuff. I was always a loner and a fight-alone kind of guy. I like to be alone but not lonely. I want to have at least family by my side. Yesterday something got to my head, and the real reason why I'm feeling this way is because I thought I was never going to be happy again. I felt really passionate about something I was doing, and my mindset got declined and I lost it. This new lowest requires a new healing. Healing, that's all I can do. Falling, that's all I know. I know my day limit for depression, this one lasted two days so far. It got me feeling like there really are things that we can have but can't keep. Like I felt amazing before, I held to that like it was the truth. Is there a feeling of happiness strong enough to last forever? I doubt it. There's of course people that are really strong and ambitious, but I bet even they can say life gets hard sometimes. Nature did its thing with bringing me into this world, but there are things that need to be fixed by hand. I'm not even trying to put myself together anymore. Maybe that's my sole mistake. I should at least try and maybe then things will start working out for me.
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