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I feel so lost. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I look at my high school friends on social media and I feel like I haven't achieved much. I know I have so much ahead of me but the thought of failure and not reaching my ideal life terrifies me. I am so so scared and I don't know...... I feel alone. This is just the first month of me being 21 years old and I already feel this way. I wonder how the rest of my life is gonna go. I already feel sick from stressing out so much.
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Stressed for life.
Long story short, being a stepmom is SO hard sometimes. Not only do you have to basically walk on eggshells, but you also have to act like it doesn't bother you...
Don't compare yourself with your friends. Do your own thing. Some people are quicker or slower than others so don't worry and go about things at your own pace. There is nothing to be afraid of because if you fail now you will succeed at something else you are good at later. There is over the counter medicine for stress so get some and listen to relaxation music to calm yourself.
ReplyThank you! I will :)
ReplyMiddle aged here...
When I was fairly young, I knew what I wanted to do for work and always kept in mind "the next step". Rather than thinking of the end game, or my final/ideal position, I initially asked myself "how can I get my foot in the door?" Once I started that work, I asked myself "how can I get a promotion to the next step?". I started on grave shift for a position I was very overqualified for. Moved to day shift a year and half or so later and then started climbing the ladder. I started taking over systems and, years later, I found myself in a managerial role supervising small teams of people. None of this happened overnight so don't rush things.
I can also say that I have a friend, my age of course, who recently quit work and started school again. He had been on a career path for nearly 20 years and just decided, on a whim, that he wants to follow a passion of his. He's currently in school to get a degree and start his new path. I say that so you'll know you're free to change your mind about what you want to do with your life, or what you want to do for work, and you can make these changes at any ole' age.
I absolutely love theme parks and, when I was fresh out of school, I moved across the country to work for "the mouse". I was young but had my degree and though I had enough hairs on my chest to just march in and get a job in my field. My friend and I were thrown into attractions. Ha. We decided we would work there until we could save enough money to break our lease and then move back home. In fact, we wound up loving it there and wound up staying for a few years. This was TOTALLY unrelated to my field. I returned home to, essentially, start over. Later, I had a few adults sort of tease me for doing such a thing and I had a few school mates, even, who claimed I must be sad for having "wasted that time". In fact, it was an amazing experience and while it did hold me back from starting my career path by a few short years, I'm absolutely glad I found myself there and did what I did. That was a long, long time ago for me now but I can still remember most of it like it was yesterday and I still love sharing the stories of my time there. I can't say that about most any other job I've ever had.
I think it's important to know that, even if you aren't doing what you want to be doing right now, your life is far from over. You have plenty of time to make adjustments and start doing the things that make you happy. Think about where you want to be, what you want to be doing, and then decide how you can get yourself there. Once you understand the path, start working toward those goals. As you move forward in life, you'll see progress and you can look back at those times and be reminded that while you may not yet be where you want to get, you are already making your way there. You'll know that by looking at where you've been.
I think it's also important to not compare your life to others by seeing what it is they are doing on social media. We all have different life experiences and different doesn't mean worse. I have friends that barely have a working washing machine but they'll drop a grand on some new RC truck/plane in a heartbeat. Ha. That's just what they are in to. Some may look to him and think - wow, he always has a great RC truck or a big RC plane but no one really mentions that broken washing machine. I have friends who are into board games, others have big aquariums, some take lavish vacations, etc. These are the things that get posted to social media. Everyone has probably seen my buddy's newest RC plane on his social media but he's not posting about his busted washing machine. Your friends are doing the same - they only tend to post what they want others to see and if they only post the best of themselves, I think it's easy to think they live perfect lives. They could be drowning in debt, late on bills, not taking vacations, fighting with their spouse, hiding a drug addiction, etc.
Assume, for a moment, that you and another guy are each given 10k in cash and this is the only money you allowed to blow on something. And let's say that you spend your ten grand on a reef tank. You get all the fancy gear for it, the absolute best for filtration, and you fill it with beautiful fish and corals. The other guy spends his 10k upgrading his truck. He gets it lifted with giant tires, a crazy sound system, and thunder sounding pipes. And now you can look to this fellow and think to yourself - "Look how good he's doing in life - he has a really, really nice truck and I'm driving this old rusty car." Or, or, you could look at it and say - "Well, he chose to spend his money on his truck and I chose to spend my money on an aquarium." He has a nice truck and I like it a lot but I also love my aquarium.
Think about the things you do and the things you have. That will probably make you happy enough. If others do something or get something you wish was a part of your life, talk to them about it. Let them know that the trip sounds fun and ask what they enjoyed about it. Tell the guy you like his truck and ask him if he could take you down the street in it. It's ok to enjoy their things and life experiences. It's just important to know that everyone will have different goals and wants in life but, again, different doesn't mean worse.
No matter what happens, we are wishing you the best!
ReplyThank you so much for this response!! Sometimes life feels so overwhelming but these kind of advices really warms my heart! Thank you again :)
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