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I dated my Ex-girlfriend(J) for about 3 years. We started off as friends in the work place. After 3months of friendship, I kissed her for the first time.
Some time later, we started getting serious and asked her about starting a full relationship with her, well, she said no at first, then I got pissed and left. Didn’t call her for two days, then she called and told me she has accepted to be my girlfriend. Oh boy!!!! What a relief.
I immediately went to see her in her house, we got talking and that evening, it was a lot of saliva licking( intense kissing)
I left for my house that evening feeling excited about my new found relationship.
This relationship progressed, and it was about that time to try something new with my new girlfriend which is Sex.
It was kinda weird for both of us, because we were very reserved about it in the first place.
And then one day she visited me, we had our usual chat but this time in my bedroom, we kissed, romanced and took off all our clothes. The romance was so intense that we didn’t know how we got so naked beyond recognition.
I suddenly wanted to thrust, but she refused. I asked why, she said she is a virgin and not a virgin at the same time. I was confused by that statement.
In other not to kill the vibe, I just said okay no sex, but our romance should continue, which we did and wore back our clothes. Wasn’t in a rush to have sex with my girlfriend.
We continued in our normal day to day struggle and hustle. Had our in-depth discussions about the other erotic day.
She then opened up to me to tell me about how she gave one of her ex blowjob like 3 times. I was like wow. And I asked her, and the guy didn’t sleep with you, she said no he wanted to, but she didn’t accept. She was saving her virginity for marriage.
After sometime, we found ourselves on my bed and this time, I was so keen about her giving me a blowjob(oral sex) and not minding if we had vaginal sex or not.
To cut the story short, I succeeded in making her go down on me to put my hard dick in her mouth and thrust to and fro. I discovered she couldn’t do it well, cos she looked scared of doing it. I then decided to browse about how to give a successful blowjob.
After some time, we decided to spend time together. At this moment, I had already read a lot of scripts and watched some pornography videos on how to give blowjobs, so I decided to teach my then girlfriend. In other words, she learnt and I was very satisfied with how she can be able to thrust my 9 inch dick fully deep down her throat. I was amazed when she did that.
This sex life continued for a while, without having vaginal sex, but perfected oral sex. And one day she requested to swallow cum from my dick. I felt very happy and strong. We went on the oral thrush again and boom, I creampied her throat and she swallow. This time I gave her a head as well. Sucked the hell out of her clit. She felt very satisfied.
At this point, our emotions started controlling us and at every given chance, we would want to do the dirty act. We did it in my car, in a hotel(cos we started traveling a lot together) , in my room. At some point in their house when no one was around.
Time passed and boom we were getting to three years in the relationship, suddenly, I started getting tired of the whole sodomy, and later found my present wife. We started off as friends, and my girlfriend was noticing the change in my actions and behavior and started making utterances like; are you cheating on me, I will reply and say, one can’t cheat on someone he hasn’t had vaginal sex with. This time she felt she was losing me. That really got her and she made arrangements for us to travel again, this time I offered to give her someone to travel with her, but she refused and wanted to travel with me. Fine, I accepted and we travelled. I never knew she orchestrated her plans to open her vagina for me to fuck, thinking maybe it’s because of the sex that I am now distancing myself. On reaching our destination, we had a fight ( it was something planned by her so we could make up at night with full blown vaginal sex as a way of reconciliation)
That night was wow. She gave me one of the best blowjobs of my life. Choked on my dick countless times, I sucked her clit mercilessly, and then time to insert my dick into her vagina. She wanted to say no, but then she realized what she had planned, I finally succeeded and gave her a doggystyle to first start. Broke her open, though she didn’t bleed as opposed to what I thought.
But shortly after we came back from our journey, I didn’t feel the vibe in our relationship any longer.
This time, my present wife was still reluctant about accepting me. So I decided to be more intentional about her.
The worst part was that I couldn’t tell my ex that I am no more interested in the relationship, rather I continued with the push to get me a new woman.
Eventually, my ex understood the message but still wasn’t interested in leaving me. I later told her that I am no longer interested in the relationship.
I decided to be more serious with my present day wife and later proposed to her and set a date for our wedding. My ex came for the wedding as well.
I had apologized to my ex about our union but I felt I need to share it out here anonymously so that I can be free from the guilt of not marrying her after all the struggle. And also for others to learn from this too.
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Sounds like you got what you wanted from her and the chemistry wasn't there. This happens a lot. You fulfilled your holy grail quest and moved on. She'll may likely be stuck shaming herself for compromising her morals for the rest of her life while you move on with your happy marriage. Men are really something sometimes. Don't give it up, ladies. Clearly, it's not worth it.
ReplyMiddle aged male here and my wife and I are swingers so we've had sex with many other partners.
I've been a member of this site for years. It's rare, but I've posted myself and received help/guidance from others. Mostly, I respond to posts hoping to help others and I do so very regularly. In all this time, this is the first post I've seen that I feel compelled to respond to with a bit of discontent.
Because I've had so many sexual partners, I can speak to the subject with some experience.
One thing to note is that everyone performs sexual acts differently. To my wife and me, this is part of why we like sleeping with others. It's not about being better or worse, it's about being different. That said, there is no "right way" to give a blowjob. Different people performing the act will do so a little differently. We all like different things and have different preferences, but that's another reason to make mention that there is no "right way" to give a blowjob - or perform any other sexual act for that matter. If there was a "right way" to do any of these things, there would be a manual somewhere.
It's strange to me, then, that you would research the blowjob topic yourself and then, as you put it, "train" her to do it the right way. At best, you should only make mention of what you really like and let her take it from there.
Away from the sexual stuff, and more on the actual relationship, you made mention that "one can’t cheat on someone he hasn’t had vaginal sex with" but that's absolutely not true either. If you are in a relationship with someone, weather you've had intercourse or not, you are still in a relationship with that person and getting engaged romantically, to any degree, with another person is absolutely cheating. I once knew an engaged couple who, in the process of planning their wedding, had a bout because the guy found out the girl was sleeping with another man. She explained to him that, because they weren't actually married, it wasn't cheating. I was so taken back by that statement and haven't thought about it for a long, long time but you sure brought that memory to the surface for me.
After having said all that, I should mention that many here post details from time to time as they are relevant to get the point across but I honestly feel like you've put some detail in as a way to boast the size of your manhood and performance abilities. In my lifestyle, I can assure you that I found none of this offensive but I certainly don't think most of that was necessary to make your point.
I know that many would see shame on me for being a swinger but, I honestly think it's greatly misunderstood. Neither my wife nor I cheat on each other and we do not sleep with others who are trying to cheat. We engage in these activities only with other people who are also in the lifestyle and comfortable in their relationships. We share many stories that you can discuss with friends, family, etc. and we get to live out sexual fantasies that many folks only dream of. To us, it's just a fun activity that we do with others but we aren't bothering anyone, we aren't hurting anyone, and we're all having a good time.
I try, each day, to be a better person and while I've lived that motto for as long as I can remember, I can certainly look back and think of some things I wish I hadn't done or said.
This could be one of those moments for you. As you stated you apologized to the ex, it sounds as if you are acknowledging that you did something, or several things rather, in a poor manner. I hope you take some of my message to heart and understand, again, that there is no "right way" to do anything sexual and I hope that, moving forward, you will treat relationships, like the one you're in now with your wife, with more seriousness and appreciation.
ReplyIt's good that you felt guilty it means somehow, you know that you have done something wrong to her. You were in relationship, no matter physical or not. You both were emotionally in a relationship. You move out of that love but she didn't. She gave her verginity that she was saving for marriage, to save this relationship. She broke her rule with the thought that you guys will be together . But yeah you have cheated on her.
And if you have completely in love with this new girl then you shouldn't had sex with your ex. Atleast be loyal and dedicated to one person.
Cheating is not about having sex. If you say you love someone and then try to get another person. That is cheating.
ReplyYou were weak with temptation you fell. We're human, we fall. The key thing is to learn and not repeat the action, in other words - to repent.
Side note: every attractive, sexy woman has someone like you in their past, before they got married. It's sadly the society we live in, very self-indulging, which is why God's grace is so necessary in life, but repentance is key. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
ReplyThe most dreaded part of this your story is that you will find yourself thinking about that ex and prolly will want to have sex with her again.
ReplyDamn that’s some real holy grail shit. It’s good you realized you were wrong and apologized.
Ensure you stay true to your current partner.
Reply