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I feel useless, because I am, nothing I do has never amounted to anything. My emotions are a bottomless pit that has a bottom at the end of it. It kills you, you expect to be spending the rest of your days falling but you don't fall, you unexpectedly fall to your death in the dark. Who else would find you in it when it's so dark. Finally people will need you and they crane you out of the pit and taxidermy your body for their needs. Tie you up to the ceiling and pull the strings and then when they are done they turn the lights off and leave you on the floor with the strings keeping your arms up as they bleed out with your legs on the floor. And you can't do anything about it because that's what you live for. I live for. I will only live for other people, I yearn for the puppeteers that will make staples in my arm for their strings. Sorry that got too long, I'm young yet I know my fate willingly. Before you say it, i'm not manic, i'm depressed, when anything is wrong people instantly think i'm manic because the reality of my depression is that i will try to end my life one way or another. If I get better one day, I'll still fantasize about my own ending, and how no matter what destiny has laid out for me, I will be taking myself out of this world. I made myself so I can take myself out. So don't get hung up on me, dont love me, don't like me, don't even look at me, you don't deserve it, no one does. I should be punished for existing, you know, my punishment is being me. I must've been an awful person in my previous lives to be like this, to be truly alone with myself. Why can't anyone crack me? Know me? Find out why I'm like this, know why I work the way I do. Someone who can do brain surgery on me without ever slicing me open for the world to see. So i'll continue to slice myself open as a reminder to myself that i'll always know, it's me and the mirror against the world.
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I completely feel how people make you feel.... it feels like the sticker of use and throw is somewhere stuck on your head which people always read .... you feel so helpless and not worthy of making this life more you feel that your life is aimless.But no wait and hang on do you really think you need anyone because when this world was being cruel you were their with yourself you was the only one who was taking those tears off your face so don't be harsh with the body which supported you man c'mon get up and appreciate this and start respecting yourself stop waiting for someone who could make you feel better by taking interest in you and understanding you do this to yourself instead and the day you would understand yourself you would accept the life it is and enjoy each moment of it
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