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My entire life I was that kind of girl that was pretty much invisible for everyone, that was kinda my defense mechanism so no one can make me feel vulnerable or hurt me.
So I lived 22 years of my life as someone whose main goal was to not stick out too much...until I met him.
He was my sister's friend and working colleague. I was also supposed to start working in the same company as them thanks to my sister who recommended me but I was still going through the training process that they give you before you start.
The first time I saw him I never in my entire life imagined that this guy would be my first kiss 3 years later. He had a girlfriend in that time that was also working in the same company.
One day he invited my sister and his girlfriend at that time to his little apartment for a table game night and my sister said I could also come to start making friends from work early on.
Honestly, my first impression of him was, that he looked like a total nerd. (And it turned out that he is one) but he seemed nice. We had a very awkward but fun game night together and we became a friend group of 4 pretty quickly and always talked/ went to our meal break together.
2 years later the guy and his girlfriend broke up and we all distanced ourself from each other and didn't talked anymore at all.
It turned out that the girlfriend blamed me for their breakup because apparently the guy had a short crush on me without me noticing, but I only saw him as a good friend.
Last year, it somehow happened that we started to talk again and got close pretty quickly. I obviously thought that his crush on me disappeared because of the time that had passed and I surely wasn't that interesting for someone to be having a crush on me that long...
We met sometimes and just talked, as friends...he sometimes flirted with me but I though he was just being nice to me or that he is just the kind of guy who likes to flirt since he is pretty popular.
Then...Yesterday was the day...
He invited me to watch a movie at the cinema. I noticed that he kinda was getting a bit more touchy as usual and was using "excuses" to be near me or place his hand on my leg but it somehow wasn't bothering me at all, though his presence was making me nervous and everytime he leaned over to talk to me or complimented my perfume my heart started to beat so fast..
After the movie we went outside and stopped at a place where we had the prettiest view over the entire city..we talked a lot when suddenly I felt like he came closer, leaned over me and kissed me.
Not gonna lie, I did not expect that in my innocent brain and was so shocked that my mind went black.. it felt weird but good, I knew that he had several girlfriends in the past already and he definitely knew what he was doing. It literally felt like I was in a romance book, he was so careful but intense.. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the best kisser nor his best kissing experience but I never thought that my first kiss would be him nor that I would be enjoying it that much since he never was more than a good friend for me...but I felt so save.
After ending the kiss I was so nervous I didn't knew what to say honestly, at that point i was just trying to concentrate that my legs stop shaking and my heart calms down...I can't stop thinking about it now as if I was missing out in this part my entire life.
I honestly don't know what will happen next since he said to me before that he is not looking for something serious right now and he knows that I want a relationship for my first experience...
Now comes the part where I overthink a lot since I'm really new to this kind of stuff but I just wanted to tell this someone so it srarts feeling real and doesn't feel like it was all in my imagination.
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