Thoughts Fill While the Heart Leaks.

As she gazes into his eyes she can only feel euphoric. The feeling of comfort, softness, and the realization of warmth. Warmth filling up her body as she can only stare at him and her mind suddenly goes blank. Blank because she can't think straight. Why is this boy suddenly on her mind, repeatedly, continuously, non stop. As he speaks and as she listens to his mumbles, she’s so grateful he can forgive her. The only things she can think of is how caring, concerning, and considerate he is. The 3 C’s that easily locked her into his gaze, reasoning on why her mind goes blank.

She wishes one day he could love her. She’s never been loved before, the way other people have loved. Everyone had always been conniving and their reflections changed rapidly. He though. He was raw. In every way possible, he was raw with his words. But that is what she admired about him. How he could sound so soft and stern, it made her listen to everything he would say. Regardless of not being able to pay attention, she could focus on his voice. She’d listen to him tell her the things she was doing were unsuitable, just letting everyone walk all over her. The sound of disgust followed by frustration echoing in his voice wondering how she could possibly, so easily, let anyone do that to her. He was the only one who’d even notice. Not even did the girl notice, nor did she care to, but he did.

How foolishly she fell in love. Depicting each part of him into structures, words, poems. How foolishly she fell in love with a boy who could not even look her in the eyes gracefully, no feeling of empathy. How he could not admire the beauty inside her that everyone else had seen. Couldn’t even show her the smallest bit of affection. Her only desire in life was to be held tightly, to finally feel loved, to be held with such commendations that she could melt within his touch. Melt, because the love was too profound, the only logical thing to do was melt. But he was inhumane. His gaze stared at her coldly, a gaze she’d never forget. Looking confused with her beating eyes but giving a primitive smile. Hoping her smile would lure him in, make him break, make him smile too. Oh how the optimism in her would never change. Only if he did, the gratitude of feeling fulfilled would’ve kept a smile on her forever. .

It was hard for her to fall in love. She didn't decide who she fell for, it just happened. It was concealed and she had kept it that way for a long time until she decided to come to terms with it, within herself. Do what she did best. Think and write about it for hours and hours of a day. The regret of gaining feelings and emotions ate at her. She had wished she was immortal. Wished for the feeling of nothingness but the blood rushing through people's veins even with the simplest of handshakes. But of course… she had fallen in love. Disregarding the fact that he picks and chooses the days he “loves” her, letting all of it go, just for the complexity he's given her.

But he is so passionate. The warmth in his mouth, his movements, his gentle touches showed he cared. These rare occasions kept her hooked, he had treated her so morally. Never has someone ever felt her so intensely, made her feel appreciated and confident. His quietness was definite but his thoughts and expressions were keen. The way he’d seen her so vulnerable, the way he lifted her face, the way he’d feel her structure. Maybe this is all what men came for but she refused to believe that this sincerity came from anywhere else but his tiny, cold heart. The smallest, most minuscule drop of tear flowing through her right eye. Slowly falling down her cheek. Unbeknownst to even her, he quickly shifts over, wiping the tear the most amorous way. In sheer shock she just stares at him. Laying down with her shirt unbuttoned, with him shirtless, just staring into each others eyes. Her wondering all the thoughts clogged into his head, him wondering her confusion. Both of them questioning integrity, unaware that they have fallen in love.