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I wish you could come home dad! Six months ago we were all a family. We were on a day trip and by the ride home your face was discolored. You were so tired and when we got home you had this "look". Mom let me stay home alone while she took you to the emergency room. Mom NEVER leaves me alone. Your heart attack, then heart attacks changed all of us. I can't fix this and I can't bring you back! Each day I think I'll see you sitting on the porch. I look out there and then......REALITY HITS. You're gone and not coming home. There's nothing I can do. No matter how much I loved you or how many milestones you were part of in my life, I can't bring you back. I feel so lost. I don't want to let go of you because I'm afraid I'll forget you. I despise the word "grieving". I'm not weak or a super emotional type of person but life has certainly changed. I'm stuck. I'm tired. I miss normal.
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Don't worry. You will become used to his absence.
ReplyI know what thats like; First, I didn't have my dad or anyone else for SIX YEARS and it was just me, my mom, my half sister and my step-dad, then my BEST-FRIEND died, And now my grandma will be dead as well...Oh and my dead can day at any moment due to a heart attack...I hate to say this but, Grieving is the only way you can deal with, talk to your mom about a therapist, talk to friend, and don't self-harm because i promise you its not worth it...
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