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Do this. Fix that. Be positive ect. This, this has been my life for the past 7 years. Between my mom having serious health that she needed constant care, and my Dad having health issues along side PTSD from the gulf war. Life seemed to have forced me to grow up faster than I liked. In fact by the time I was 13, I thought my childhood was over. But don't get me wrong. I haven't had a sad life, I have great memories. My parents and my siblings-we all have been very close....some might even say too close. Well what I mean is that we relied on each other giving little thought about boundaries. And I think for me that's where the trouble sets in. I have been so stressed about trying to do chores or helping that now dawning 19 years of age, some days I don't want to see tomorrow. It's like every year becomes a little bit darker, I push harder, saying things could be worse. You know it's really hard. I get up early give the medications needed, go to a community college come home do some stuff such as cooking cleaning. And yes, my parents are thankful, but some days they're not. Tonight my dad snapped at me. I get it, he is tired he has been taking care of my grandma. But After a long day of trying to take care of my mom, cooked and cleaned. I feel so used. And at these moments I feel empty like there is nothing more to give. I truly feel as if no one really cares right now, that I am being used. Like last year was Senior year for me...did my parents show up for a celebration? No. Recently I have the opportunity to transfer to a university far out. ...I feel torn. I know if I left, certain things that should be prioritize will be fixed. But then, part of me feels guilty should I stay and help out more? Am I being selfish? Tonight I truly can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just want something to take my breath away... I'm so tired. I'm just done. My emotions are drained. But you know what? In these dark days right now, where I feel no human cares, where my pain seems so real, yet I am reminded of God's constant love for me. And that Jesus is always their. He has His arms wide open. And that because of what He did on the cross to save me from my sins, I can live with Him in heaven, by believing what he did covers it all. And that's because of what He what he did I can face tomorrow. No it doesn't mean I don't need to set boundaries. But does mean that because of his hope that is in my heart...I can and will rise up and face tomorrow with joy. And go forth in the path that He has called me too. And who maybe I'm just rambling, or maybe this will help me or the the person reading this. I'm open to people's thoughts and opinions. Thanks for reading and apologies for the typos haha.
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Hey there,
I feel for you and your situation. You were put in a situation where you had to forego parts of your youth to take care of your family. Your commitment and diligence is very admiral and I wished it were rewarded properly. I know it's tough for you right now and you probably just want someone to acknowledge and provide some validation in return.
Taking on the burden of fixing other's problems is taxing and
I think you should start prioritizing yourself more.
You are good hearted person and I wish you all the best. May God bless your soul!
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