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I’m making a pact with myself today. I won’t ever drink alcohol, except for maybe my 21st birthday. That’s it. It’s too much of a risk for me.
I know what alcohol addiction can do to a person. I have an uncle who is currently ruining his life with his drinking problem. He’s the most depressed that I’ve ever seen anyone in my short life and that scares me. I’ve dealt with severe depression and am still dealing with it on some days. I’m only 17, so I’m still in that period of life where you’re trying to figure everything out, which doesn’t help my mental state at all. It’s not just depression, it’s also my being adopted and some moderate social anxiety and rather severe imposter syndrome. So I’m mentally and emotionally a mess. And how do I deal with it? I shove it all down inside of me, bottle it up, and try not to let it break free. I know it’s not healthy in the slightest, but it’s worked thus far and I lack the communication skills required to ask for help. I know I’ll eventually snap and do something that I’ll regret, but that is for future me to deal with.
I don’t plan on drinking. It doesn’t offer me anything more than an easy way for me to screw my life up. To be honest, I’d be fine with my life being screwed up, but I’ve seen what it does to the people who care about you. My uncle is deeply depressed and needs to get help. But he won’t. It’s too much to explain here, but essentially, he can’t afford the length of treatment he would need because he doesn’t have a job or insurance, and he won’t stop drinking because every time someone tries to reason with him, he says that since they drink, he should be able to as well. He’s really stubborn about it. At my family’s easter get-together, the conversation turned to his situation at one point and it was just awful to listen to. Not because my family was being judge mental or mean about him, but because they care so much about him and want to help him so badly, but nothing they’ve done so far has had any impact. They’re desperate and stressed out and it’s taking a serious toll on my grandmother.
I know that if I expose myself to any kind of potential to abuse alcohol, there’s a very real possibility that I could end up exactly where my uncle is now. And I just can’t do that to my family. I know they would try to help me and logically, I should listen to them, but I have been deeply depressed before and I know that at a certain point, logic and reason go right out the window. I know they wouldn’t stop trying to help me, just as I know they won’t stop trying to help him. I just can’t put them through that.
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Good on you. I've never actually been drunk myself though I have an occasional glass of wine. Don't want that vomiting drunk. It don't look fun. That's pretty smart of you to make that promise. Alcoholism and drug addiction is on both sides of my family so I understand it too. Moderation is key. I can control myself where others in my family can't. Alcohol don't solve problems because they can swim. Abstinence is an admirable choice.
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