Someone please tell me everything is gonna be all right...

My boyfriend suffers of epileptic crisis, He discovered it like 6 months ago, I was already worried about it, since the first time He told me He fainted and He woke up confused in his basement while He was playing the drum I felt a terrible feeling... His parents waited to see his crisis before taking him to the hospital, where He got diagnosed.

My father died exactly 2 years Ago and I am still traumatized from the cancer, the screaming of pain, the nights passed hearing him suffering, seeing him peeing on the floor and everything, but that face... The dead face with frozen eyes He had when He was not there is the worst.

Today, one day after the anniversary of my father's death I went to my boyfriend's house. He had an epileptic crisis while He was sleeping next to me this afternoon, so I called immediately his father. I saw that face again, my mind went back to those moment when I used to hold my father's hand when He was suffering or sleeping while I was holding his hand and I started to cry, but I pretended to be ok, because I can't create another problem. Now it's 2AM and He had another crisis just 30 minutes ago... I had to wake up his mother and now We're waiting for the ambulance.

...I don't wanna loose him. I'm afraid it's gonna happen the worst soon or later and I don't know why, I don't know if someone can die easily because of epileptic crisis or not... I'm afraid to search honestly, I judt looked for the way to help a person who is having a crisis.

Why do I have to see the people I love suffering for illness? Why there even are so many? It's not fair... He took all the medicines, plus the new one which should have been strong enough. I don't want him to suffer, I don't want to see that frozen face on him. How do I know everything is gonna be all right? I hoped for that till the end with my father, now I'm prepared for the worst, always... But not really. I'm afraid.