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I wish my family prioritized me getting medical attention. When I was 13 I almost died of pneumonia because I knew it would be cheaper for me to just die than get medical help. My parents ignored how bad it was until I was throwing up blood all the time. I don’t know why, but I healed, and I survived it. The doctors who I finally saw after three months of it said they didn’t know how. Stuff like that happened all the time when I think about. Almost got crushed by a falling door at 4. Almost got crushed by the AC falling out of the ceiling at 12. Each time it was very much a “but you didn’t die” thing. I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like they care about me very much. I’d clearly struggled with mental health issues my whole life, and couldn’t get help until I was 18 and sought it myself. I’d told my dad I wanted to kill myself at 14 and had thought about it since I was 5, and all he said was I guess he’d have to pull me out of school or I’d have to stop talking about it. I never spoke of it to him again. I needed to go to school or I’d have to stay in that house. My brother told my parents he was experiencing some anxiety at 16 and they immediately fell over themselves to get him help. Then they told me they didn’t know I felt like that, which is definitely a lie. They’d also pick on me for my weight all the time growing up. Which is strange looking back because I was never heavy, sometimes I was even thin. But they’d say it was strictly a me problem, despite the fact that I literally had an eating disorder so I never ate, and I was in high intensity sports four days of the week. Turns out way later, I literally have something wrong with my blood that I inherited! But they uphold that it’s just a me problem, even though the parent I got it from is on the same medication and it’s a genetic disorder they’ve known was in the family the whole time. Feels like they just wanted to punish me for something they knew I couldn’t control, and knew the source of. Yesterday I was in the car with one of my parents and they told me I have an awful lot wrong with me for someone so young. I want to scream about that. I’ve done literally everything I can. I am just built poorly
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I feel so sorry for you, if I could give you huge I will than, but just stay strong, and have faith in God buddy 😇
ReplySounds like you've had a guardian angel and or something. Nobody should ever tell you thats a "me problem" for what's wrong with you. What if it were them? People don't like to imagine that. People like that need given a black eye then told there now that's a me problem you've got. I so dislike uncompassionate people. I hope life gets better for you. Hang in there.
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