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To whom it may concern,
I don't know what to do or say but here we are and here I go...
I've changed so much for people and have tried to be the best I could be but it is never enough. "Self-reflection" is always the end game and it never helps me understand or put me on a path to greatness. It just beats me down. You're a great people, everyone loves you, you're a hard worker, yet always mixed up in drama and conflicts that seem to have no way out. A black hole of where do I go next. What do I say? Who do I turn to? Where do I go?
Everyday a struggle to try and see the light. Keep your mouth shut but never let them see you cry. The weight of the worlds expectations of you crushing you and keeping you locked into a visual image of who you HAVE to be and for once just wanting to run away. The paycheck without the headaches stress and drama. Loving what you do but it not being meant for you.
What are your thoughts and where do I/you go from here?
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It sounds like you just want to win for once. It's frustrating to go through the lulls feeling like you aren't making any progress. I'm curious as to why you changed yourself to meet the demands and expectations of others. That isn't sustainable in the long run as you will never be able to please everyone else. You will try, try, try again, only to reach a state of diminishing returns where nothing you do will ever be enough.
Have you thought about living for yourself ? Have you looked into a change of scenery ? Do you have anyone in your immediate circle that you can talk to about your issues ? I think all of those things would help bring you new perspective to your life.
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