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fuck man im 24 years old, i am a failing father, a failing soldier, i feel so traumatized i just dont know where to start, the military has been my life for 8 years, ive lived the life. good days and bad. i sit here hundreds of miles away from my son and my girl and i cant even tell them how much im struggling, everyday is getting harder, i would be lying if i said i havent thought about ending it too many times to count, fuck it man ive tried and brished it off, the therapy doesnt work, im addicted to being so fucking sad that when im happy if feels so wrong, im smashing my keys on my keyboard so fast right now its unreal i just want to scream, i am screaming, internally is all. no one will understand no one does, im not sure if this is my first of many entries or my last, fuck man i just. i dont even know.
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