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It's father's day tommorow. I have this love and hate with my dad, but the hate is always above. Things got rough or change when he cheated with my mom/us, it's like a piece of glass that fell and broke into pieces and how many times/ tries to fix it. It's still has a damage that never ever been fixed.
I don't want to blame him that I see myself with the same sex partner in the future. Because ever since I'm not heterosexual but the thing that he did, I'm afraid to be with boys. The same pain that I feel with him, I don't want to feel it again in the future.
Loving him was too painful, I can't. But I respect that he was my father. And that's all I can give. It's just like a normal day would be tomorrow, I would greet him like every years.
I'm afraid that it will last longs this feeling with him. I should forgive him sooner, because times is passing by I might regret this things. If the time is done. I wonder when it is.
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Never let these thoughts traumatise you
Your mother wouldn't want you to be haunted by those thoughts I know I might be not able to understand your situation but it's up to you to leave that chapter and begin with a beautiful one.. 💗
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