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I ate so much yesterday, I feel like I shouldn't eat today. I always do this, I hate eating alone because I feel lonely and sad but I feel kinda gross when I eat around others or with my family. I always eat too much too fast and feel sick, overly full. "You sucked that down haha" I can't stop. It's embarrassing, what do people think of me? Are they that judgemental?
I woke up an hour ago but I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to eat breakfast, cause what if I overeat again? If I ate I'd feel even more disgusted with myself, but what if someone notices and asks questions? I'm always eating, I get hungry too fast, I hate this. I hate feeling fat. I hate when I look in the mirror too long or pay too much attention to my body when I change clothes or shower. I hate wearing tight shirts and seeing my belly and arms. I hate looking for help online and everything tells me that not eating will make me a pretty girl, which makes me dysphoric and feel even worse.
Am I large enough to even deserve to feel like this? Can I ask for help, feel like I'm allowed to get better?
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You should eat some anyway. Your body needs food for fuel. You could have high metabolism reason you stay hungry possibly. Yeah its totally ok to ask for help and you deserve to get better. In the meantime love yourself for who you are.
ReplyFellow person I’m sorry but I would not jump straight into fasting, that’s not good for you. Especially if it’s a sudden change
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I found an interesting solution to a situation similar to this, and that was a caffeine addition. I made an oath to myself, a reminder and reason to slow down my caffeine intake, and it proves fairly effective.
The oath I imposed on myself was simple- “ only drink coffee when you need it”. The term “need” is easily interpreted every time I look at it, I could simply say “I want it so I need it “ and I would drink one, but then I’ll know that even if I technically didn’t break it, I feel as if I feel shitty. However during a caffeine withdrawal, I had to go to an event and had horrendous headaches, and so I drank 2 cups of coffee, and didn’t feel bad at all. I still live under that oath, and it’s been amazing, from two things a day, to one, to one every time I’m feeling symptoms of a withdrawal.
I’m not saying you should do an oath, but I think you should set a reminder, not to shame you but rather inquire about your goals and your ways to get there. Don’t have something physically stop you (which a lot of people do, like self shaming unnecessarily), but just have something to help you become a better person, a self imposed restriction governed by you and you alone.
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