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I need advice, I think I'm completely screwed. I had a girlfriend until a few days ago. we were in a relationship for 4 months, I loved her like never before. I literally love her more than myself. I actually hate myself. most of the time, our connection was great. she's witty, fun, I think she's beautiful. I felt good with her. the only problem is that I consider myself a loser. I'm turning 30 in, I haven't achieved anything in my life. I don't have a car, I don't have an apartment, I don't have a job I like, and I hate the job I have, and I'm paid little. I don't have the balls to leave that job, because I don't know how I would manage after that. And in conversations with my now ex-girlfriend, the topic was that she won't wait long, that we will achieve some things together, but still, a man has to earn more and. The other day she commented the same thing about my Friends, and I was offended, I didn't like it. Because they are also strugling. Somehow she always finds an excuse why she's right and I'm not. Oh yes, she is 23 years old. And it was always my fault that I didn't make an effort, that I didn't send messages when we were arguing. and that is probably true. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, why I'm so insecure and always do some shit. If I were more confident in myself, I guess I wouldn't take everything that is said to heart so much? somehow I would always feel bad whenever she had somewhere to go, as if I didn't love her, I wouldn't be happy for her. And that's not true, I want her to be happy. Is it possible to love someone and not want nice things to happen to them at the same time? I don't even know how to explain it. Maybe subconsciously I want her to be bad, so that I can be her salvation. But I don't consciously want it, I swear I don't. Is it possible that I'm this fucked up? I would prefer to disappear from this world, I seem disgusting to myself, like a terrible person.
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This ex of yours should get dressed up like she has money, take some large money notes with her and go someplace like a yacht club where rich men are, wave her large money notes in the air and try to meet one of them. These men don't want to have users, so she has to pretend to be rich too.
You can look on the internet for a different job, even one that you will like. You can apply online and if you get called for an interview take sick leave for it. Try for one with more pay because you will do better with a car and your own place to attract someone. You and your ex aren't a good match and I hope you do meet someone else who is.
ReplyHeyy, i don't really know what to say but i truly hope that you can be happy with yourself. You deserve that. I'm also struggling with self image but i go to therapy for that and it really works, maybe that's something you can try x.
And its okay that you don't have that much ur still very young remember that and it's never too late to learn and change your life for the better. I hope you'll find happiness in yourself and your life. There's always other jobs to apply for<3 you deserve to live and ur not a terrible person! Find someone that doesn't care about money, i know that's hard to find these days i guess. But hey there still people that don't care about that like me :) Accept who you are as a person and it's never too late to grow. I hope you'll figure it out. Love you ❤️
ReplyOne of the challenges everyone faces is keeping up with expectations of society. The majority suffer because of the dependency on approval from others. One's worth is measured based on accolades and material stuff. It is sad. It's an ongoing challenge affecting everyone physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually. These are all the products of fear.
Love is unconditional, colorless, genderless, all there is, and all of us.
You can express love by staying healthy, having self-confidence, being emotionally stable, and in love with yourself first.
You are the first things first. Self-love is the most forgotten love and yet plays a paramount role. A blind cannot lead another blind, and an empty cup cannot fill another cup.
ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS:
First, know that you are a powerful creator of your experience. You create your experience with the tools of creation: thoughts, words, and actions. They are energy-creating physical experiences responding to some Laws of the Universe: The law of Attraction and Vibration. You are an energy being emitting negativity and positivity. These laws state that whatever you repetitively think about happens in your experience. What you exactly put out comes back to you. Love is high vibration. Are you matching this?
Now to answer your questions:
Is it possible to love someone and not want nice things to happen to them at the same time?
Yes. Everyone thinks many thoughts. The thought of not wanting nice things to happen to your loved ones comes from your pain rooted in your fear. If you continue being consumed by this thought, expect it to happen. Do you want this to happen?
Is it possible that I'm this fucked up?
You are not fucked up unless you think, consider, and believe yourself so.
The "fucked up" thing comes from your thoughts of belittling yourself and basing your self-worth on what you haven't done, what you do not have, and your break-up. By continuously thinking you are this, even calling yourself a disgusting and terrible person, expect more of these experiences, and again, you don't want these, right?
And so, the takeaway here is to learn to love yourself first and see how your situations change next time.
Learn more here:
https://www.amazon.com/COME-BACK-LOVE-Understandings-Reflections-ebook/dp/B07SSH5YJW
ReplyYou're allowing your lack of self-confidence and assurance to dictate how you love others. It isn't about self-love, it's about self-awareness. You have to know your own strengths and admit your own weaknesses. Once you do that, you'll feel less paranoid about others and more invested in yourself.
White Knight Syndrome and personality can affect your relationship negatively, but by understanding that you don't wish for her happiness, you're implicitly rooting for it.
You aren't a bad person.
ReplyOh common you are not a terrible person and it is okay if you are not yet successful all you have to do is remember one thing if someone cannot be there at your lowest if your partner cannot be the one who helps you achieve your dreams help you with your insecurities she is not the one. So stop trying to betitle yourself because its okay everybody has a turning point may be this is yours apply for jobs online or start something you like don't leave your job if you are not sure yet but stop crying over it you want to change do something about it find job or start a side hustle earn extra cash start investing . As far as your ex is concerned let her go trust me you guy's are not meant to be you will find your person when the time is right until then work on yourself man love yourself.
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