Am I a psychopath?

I'm feeling pretty crazy and have been for a while, the other day I was at my boyfriends house and I was picking at a bump on his skin, he asked me why I always do that and I can't help it, I told him it makes me feel like running a knife through his skin.

He stopped and turned to face me and told me I sounded like a serial killer in the making but it was kinda hot to him.

This worries me because sometimes I'll catch myself having thoughts I know I shouldn't tell people and that I know are messed up.

I've always wanted to know what it feels like to cut into someone, it's part of the reason I love cooking.

I get to slice things up however I was and fresh chicken gas so much blood.

I've thought about strangling someone until they almost die but definitely black out, to see them look into my eyes and know they're at my mercy.

But that one might stem from a time that actually happened to me, I was playing around with my uncle, more of a family friend but I live in the south so same difference.

I apparently bit off more than I could chew, quite literally because I went to bite him so he'd let me go but he just jammed his arm so far in that I could bite down or even breathe. He thought my struggling was part of me playing around but I couldn't breathe and it hurt so bad, this was a family function so I was looking around for help but no one cared.

They went on smiling and laughing as I blacked out and I woke up still in his arms and everyone shouting at him to put me down because I wasn't responding, it was terrifying but I know how much power he held when he did that to me.

And I know that given the chance, I might do the same to him.

Honestly I'm scared of myself.

Not for me but for other people's sake, I know there's probably a nice place in hell just waiting for me but to know I'm capable of ending the lives of people I actually care about, it makes me feel numb like I'm sinking into myself.