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I try to act happy. I try, I really do I'm trying to get better.but I can't handle all this every night I lay in my loft bed, thinking, trying not to cry ,remembering. Remembering how I feel so guilty, remembering how I bullied a group of kids once,remembering how I back stabbed them. thinking about how they will get me back. But then I remember every little detail of that day, every word I said to them in my messages, how hard it was to go to school that next day,how everyone made me feel more and more guilty about it every second of the day,how I have no one to support me and how bad their words hurt me that day at school, but then I remembered my words probably stung them worse, and the church said that God will erase the guilt but he hasn't. I never even said sorry to that group of kids and if you guys from that groupare reading this, I'm sorry. I truly am. I know you probably will never forgive me, and I understand you and, God is probably making me feel more guilty. I did the worse and I didn't even try to right my wrong. And I'm getting eaten by the guilt everyday and I will never forgive myself, I hate that I have no one to share it with bc everyone will lecture me more than I already have gotten and, I probably deserve more than a lecture anyway, But one of those people from that group forgave me. She was so kind, and I still never said sorry to her. Pls comment
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i don't think that the guilt will ever erase completely. it is now a part of u. what u do with it is up to u. since i don't know the whole story, i just want to say, remember ur words and feeling but not let them eat u more than they already have. its hard to accept but u can't change the past. what u can do is to never let such thing happen again. when u get a 2nd chance u take stand. u differentiate between wht is right and wht is easy.
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