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have been in love twice in my life. My first love is one I will never forget. He made me the person I am today and I will forever be grateful to him for that. During our relationship I didn’t treat him the way he deserved. I was 16 young, stupid, selfish and so many other things. I am now 18 and we’re now strangers. We have both moved on with other partners. However he’s full of hatred towards me and I’m still full of love. He told me to stay out of his life forever and that he was never in love with me but that he was blinded by manipulation into believing he was in love with me. That broke me. I’m fully aware now that how I treated him was genuinely horrific and I wouldn’t dream of doing that to anyone again but I do believe that he did love me at one point or another. The fact is wether I like it or not he will forever have a piece of my heart. He was my first everything. My current boyfriend is the most amazing, loyal, beautiful person and I’m so grateful for him. I’m scared I will never completely stop loving my first love and I’m scared I’ll hurt my current boyfriend.
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Everybody has their past and when it comes to first love I know it's really hard to forget. But now I think what you have is the guilt that you were not good to him. It's okay we all make mistakes but atleast you have realised it. If he doesn't want to forgive you let it be like that, don't ruin your current relation because of your past. Whether he forgives you or not you have to forgive yourself, it's more important. It's okay that this chapter is now incomplete, once you will be heald that will be the end of the chapter.
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