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What actually even is authenticity, really? It seems like we hold in the highest esteem of human Being the idea or the state of being authentic to ones self what but does that mean, really?
Is it autheniticity and honesty when it comes to thoughts, inclinations, sentiments, and desires—expressed sincerely and genuinely that a person's being is transparent and open for scrutiny?
Maybe so, but having given that it's held in the highest esteem, when I am in moments of genuine vulnerability and authenticity with what exists in the core of my being, I find myself...judged—harshly and from a point of view that is belittling, as if people judging are asserting their own moral supremacy over me for my demonstration of weakness, imperfection, desires, inclinations, authentic being (as I am), like the way I judged the people around me in high school that elevated my social standing as respectable but did not earn me good friends for being internally harsh. I've stopped doing so in college, and now it so seems that everyone else is doing that to me, in my attempts to be more accommodating and forgiving of other people and myself.
In moments where I have tried being authentic, I feel judged and belittled. And the only remedy that I have found that alleviates the problem of not being respected is the dawning of a mask that asserts the same sense of moral superiority over others that judges them, like how I survived and elevated myself in high school.
I stopped it because I felt like it wasn't sustainable—like I haven't made real and genuine friends in my pursuit of respectability. Yet, I find that other people are doing the same and orienting their social groups in the same way.
How can we be "authentic" if there is a collective societal force to hide away our true selves if it doesn't vibe with the majority?
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