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A lot of the time i feel as if i'm battling the outside world, or that its out to get me, something to be afraid of.
And right now, it's like i'm battling with myself. and denial and confusion, and at the same time, i'm hounded by others' opinions and beliefs and delusions, that also confuse me. They cloud the logic, something i'm looking for the truth in.
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Don't let the battle with yourself go. Take others' opinions with a grain of salt. don't let others' judgements overwhelm you. All you can do (and you should take peace in this idea), is to make the best decision you feel is correct. It has to *feel* right. You might have to dig for it, which also means getting your hands dirty. But I promise you this is worth it.
The world is out to get you. It's not personal, but the world isn't a forgiving place. If you're confused, realize that you can't handle everything at once. Try one thing, and if you find out that it's wrong, move on to the next thing. If you're in denial, maybe the truth is sitting infront of you and you don't want to accept it. Go ahead and wrestle with why you won't accept whatever it is you have trouble accepting. You may learn something either way.
Others' opinions should only be added to your list of things to try. You can't make an accurate assessment of their opinions over yours or vice versa until you've tested them yourself.
You'll find the truth. You just need to get used to swimming in the mud. (but the shower afterwards feels great)
Remember that.
ReplyFind a happy space where you have a bit of room. Back yard, park etc. Get yourself grounded byvgetring your toes in the grass or sand. Close your eyes take a deep breath thru the nose count to 5 and exhale thru the mouth. Do this as many times as needed to clear your head.
Anxiety is not fun. I battle a fairy bad case of it myself. Seem the busier I am the happier I am. I'm preventing anxiety by giving it nothing or nowhere to squeeze in. But I find if I can find a place to ground myself helps. It can even be in your own room where it's quiet. And a safe area. Listen to BiNeural music for concentration or relaxing. May take a few to find ones that jive with your system but when you find that right one it's brain pudding time.
Also make sure you set a minimum of 1 hour of you time. Where you can relax no outside interference and have something you alone can do. Like a puzzle (I do crosswords) paint, carve whatever. Soak that mind into that project.
Clarity will come. Focus on #1 for a while. It's okay to take a break and those that ask? Tell them. If they sqauk? Close that door. Once you get you again you will find friends gone and the ones that stayed are going to become long time best friends.
Remember it's okay to take a break!
Replythank u so much for taking time to write that i hear you and this is very helpful.
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