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I am a person with a total mess. When i said a total mess, I meant confusion. I am a very confused person. Somehow or the other whenever and whatever i decide turns out to be wrong in either way possible as either now or later in few months/years. I am a person who needs assurance every time. And you know what is the main reason behind me being so confused all the time is that I feel like i get bored of things either very earlier or in later terms. Thats why am very much insecure what am I supposed to do i future. There are many people out there who change their streams with their interests. With the search of what is perfect for me and i need perfection, am losing stuff by getting confused. I am someone who cant accept things easily at one go. I am very conserved you know like with emotions. I stay very conserved with my emotions. I dont like sharing stuff with anyone personally. Even there is a reason and the reason is am not sure. Another reason is that i dont people to know me so damn emotionally and personally what i do, how i do, what are my mistakes, whats my sucess and etc...
Simultaneously, I dont wanna stay alone. I just wanna have fun, am extrovert, I wanna go out for shopping or just a walk or anywhere where i like. I want people to know why i am happy, I dont want them to know why i am sad bcz i hate console stuff. I hate sympathetic words. I want people to understand when i am sad but not know why i am. Its like if you fine me sitting sad, thats good, if u care, u will ask me what happened (human tendency). And then if i say the matter thats good but if i deny to say, just dont ask.
idk why people so much wanna know, atleast in my life, i have never met anyone like this as if they notice me sad and if i ask for some privacy, they dont give me that. They just say fuck am worried i wanna be there with u. Bitch, pls understand this is how my coping mechanism words accordingly. I need some time alone and its nowhere like i will share the matter later. NO, i just dont want u to know why am sad and this is one of my coping mechanism too.
And moreover am not a dating material, atleast this is what i personally feel by judging this generation you know, THE GEN Z.
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