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You know what's fucked up!
Its fucked up having other people deny your reality! It's fucked up that they deny your experiences and make you out as if you're crazy!
It's fucked up when it's something that was real and actually happened!
It blows my mind how quickly people will dismiss something that you share with them and it isn't something easy to share with in the first place!!!
People then start going far in saying that you're severely mentally ill! That you need to get help and therapy! That you're over-thinking and paranoid!
The gaslighting is just unreal!!! However, I don't think everyone is doing it on purpose to gaslight me!
Look, I have no reason to lie and make shit up about matters that deeply concern or bother me! It's hard to show others when they don't see it for themselves in person. It's even more harder to prove something in the moment that it happened and of it happening fast!
Does the truth ever come to light!???
If there is a God, does it actually paying attention to this bullshit and see what the fuck.is happening here!!!
Just a fucking joke! Trying to share something and it's not getting through to people at all!
I know myself!
I know who I am!
I know my weaknesses and strengths!
I know when something doesn't feel right within and outside of myself!
I know that I'm not crazy and losing my mind!
To make matters even more worst!
I was falsely or misdiagnosed with a severe mental disorder that happened not to long ago, in my adulthood life! This mental disorder shows itself in much earlier stages in life as a teenager! I never was hospitalized or anything of the sort back then as a teenager!
Coincidence!?
Just fucked up and stupid!!!!
Some of these mental health professionals that I was dealing with did fuck all in actually helping me!!! They didn't look into my history further and i was the one who reached out to them on my own terms, to help me with matters i really wanted to work on and genuinely needed help with!
It's fucking bullshit how it just completely backfired and turned against me!
Wonder why I don't trust people so easily because this just proves my fucking point!
Instead, they threw around a fucking label on me because I had a panicked mental breakdown which triggered fear and i was slightly paranoid! That of which my fucking abuser had caused and triggered to cause me to go fucking nuts!!!!
I want the truth to come to light because this is just ridiculous!!!
This just enables my abuser to use that to their advantage and continue to further abuse!!!
I'm not going to allow something untrue about myself, sit there and letting myself be gaslighted into believing I have some severe mental disorder! There is no denying I struggle with some mental illnesses, but I certainly know it isn't a severe mental disorder!!!
One of the many injustices I've been dealing with!
For fuck sake!!!
It's not fucking fair!!!!
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