Toxic Dad/Sister Combo

Why do I seek validation from my dad when I know I'll never receive it. I am the third of four children and I feel like he just absolutely hates me. I know it is because I am no longer under his thumb, but how the heck do you hate children that you brought into the world???? I have two older sisters and a younger brother. My oldest sister is totally removed from my parents, my second oldest sister is soooooo far up my dads butt, its DISGUSTING, and then my brother stands up to him but is always knocked down to my dads level. I never got to know my dad's parents because of the "abuse" they inflicted on him emotionally, mentally, and physically. What my dad does not realize though, is that he has become the exact people he never wanted to be like. I am the first grandchild on both sides to receive a college degree. Right now I have only obtained my 2 year degree, but this fall I will be finishing my bachelor's and the constant shut down I receive from him about it is awful. He has no investment in me and what I'm doing for my future. My 2nd oldest sister is on her second kid with no where to live, no car, a worthless baby daddy/boyfriend, no ambition in life and a nasty, nasty pill addiction. She is his favorite. I can't for the life of me figure it out at this point but even as small children, she was the prime rib and the rest of us were 80/20 ground chuck. They have a hold on each other. A nasty, toxic hold and I honestly am so over it. It has become so bad, that my mom has begun to defend it. My mom wants to give her grace and pity because she is pregnant, but she won't stop snorting pills long enough to see the damage she is doing to everyones lives. but back to my dad, He created such a mess in all his children and he takes no responsibility for it. He is corrupting my nephew and I know the next one will be 80,000x worse. My oldest sister has honestly not even met my nephew and he will be three soon. But my 2nd oldest sister did it to herself to create these blocks. My dad has no regard to his other three kids because the only one that matters is her. I have fought so hard for his attention all my life but today I realized, I don't want it anymore. It has brought me nothing but disappointment after disappointment. It crushes me every time I don't receive what I want from him. I just thank God for my husband because I have no doubt that my children will never have to go through that. I know that all my daughters and sons will know his love equally and fairly.