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i've wrote so much about you. time and time again. i thought that the struggles and issues that we went through would never come to this. never in my mind did i think that you were capable of betraying me like this. why? how? i know you said that you never meant to hurt me. i know you said that you never meant to harm me but you did? do you not understand that? i didn't even get a chance to say that to you in person because the fear and the hurt stopped me from saying what i truly wanted to say. but of course, now that i had time to think everything through i can process i want to react. it does not matter if you meant to do something or not. what matters is the fact that it happened and now nothing will ever be the same again. i will never be the same again. you hurt me in ways that i thought was never possible. i could forgive all your other actions toward me that were disrespectful and mean and rude and careless but this? this is something that is so unforgivable. i hurt. i cry. and yet i cannot seem to shake the reality of this situation. now im thinking...was this your plan all along. you said you didn't try to harm me but are you lying like you always used to do? was this your plan to hurt and betray me like this? risk my life? risk my health? my sanity? at the same time i want you not to be hurt but to feel the hurt that you put me through, just so you can understand. its over and its done but i still have a million questions to ask you. a million questions that will never get a response.
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