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Dear Sir,
It breaks my heart every time you post some lovey dovey thing about her on social media when you wrote such horrible things about me. It breaks my heart to see you so freely offer her public displays of affection when that was all I ever wanted. It broke my heart when you made her a chai latte and when you gave her a flower from the garden. Those little things that you did very infrequently, if ever, for me in the years that we were together. You treated me like shit, belittled me, manipulated me, and had me second guessing myself over everything and yet I stayed for far too long because ... I was naive, I was "desperate" (your word, not mine, though looking back it probably is true that I was), I love too much, I wanted to make your life better and didn't want to be another woman who "messed you up", I had zero relationship experience, and of course the biggest thing that kept me there the last couple years was our kiddo. You crushed my spirit, my sparkle, and so much of my joy even after we were no longer "together". And don't get me wrong, I don't want a romantic relationship with you because the years that I've dealt with you have already been too much and shown me that we don't work that way...I just wish there was someone that did those little, simple, beautiful acts of love for me. It's jealousy and envy for the relationship itself, not that she is in a relationship with you. I'm glad you're happy. And extremely glad you're sober. I think we're doing a pretty good job co-parenting our awesome kid. You're much easier to be around and deal with these days. Not sure if it's the sobriety, the job, or her...or some combination of the 3 but it suits you. (I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you got me a really thoughtful birthday present for the first time in 11 years!) And I meant it 100% when I told her that it was easier to be your friend.
I do have a bunch of issues with her but that is neither here nor there and could likely be a whole another letter in itself.
So instead, I'll conclude with wishing you continued happiness and hoping that life continues to be on an upswing for you.
Love,
Me
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