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I first met this girl in my first year of high school, we met in the school corridor and then she came to my class to ask the teacher about her test score. I went up to her to mess with her not in a wrong way but a silly way because we were holding and pulling on the test paper it got ripped hallway. I was sorry and apologised to her many time, after that at night I was playing a game and I posted a story on my IG. She reply to it and from there it hit off, we made plans to go to see a movie and after about a month or so I ask her to be my GF, and she immediately say yes. I was really happy, but after just a few days my friend was telling my GF about me talking to another girl, he just joking but she took it personally. After that night she tell me she want to break up, but later apologize, that is the start of our love-and-hate relationship, she was always nice to me and always want to meet me but I was cold and a dick. After one year of breaking up and getting back together whenever there was a problem. She had enough of that, I learn my lesson after that and say sorry, and chase her waiting for her, always being there for her for one year, seeing her get broken heart because a guy cheated on her, I was sad too. Until one year has gone by, I got closer to her, and we got back together again.
College.
After we got back together I already learn of my mistake and always want to talk about her feeling and all of our problems, but I still have a small temper. We were fine for a couple of months, she was caring, want to be with me all the time, and always have time for me, but suddenly went we got to college, she was not like the girl I know from back then, she becomes cold, she becomes not clingy, and she became distant from me, she always picks her friends over me, I will always be there for her, went she wants something I buy her, went she needed me I always there, but I got tired of giving all the love in the world for her, I lost friend, I became less interested in my family, I just want the same love I give her, but she doesn't want to change after I did for her, I become angry, and we have a lot of fight but always I apologize to her, sometimes she apologize but I feel like she was feeling forced to apologize. After a year, we are just doing fine but a normal day become the day of my break up because I was tired of her not wanting to solve a problem, a small problem too, she break up with me and say she have a problem with me that she kept secret, I don't know any of that thing, she doesn't tell me anything.
After a month of the breakup.
I found out she was close to someone went I was still with her, about 4-5 she was close to this guy. I just realise that it makes sense, she doesn't want to post me on her social media, doesn't want to go with me anywhere, and lastly, whenever I want to borrow her phone she becomes defensive.
So that's it, I feel like I want her back or just ask her why she did that to me after all the love I gave her.
What do I do?
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Romantic love is beautiful, but it is usually conditional and extremely fragile.
In my opinion one of the problems is your age; the 2 of you are young, and when we're young we make mistake after mistake. If she hurts you directly, then it's up to you to forgive her, and then for you to decide if you stay or leave her. If she makes mistakes that hurt herself, then it's up to her to learn from them and grow.
If you want her back, then think of investing all your love into her with the goal of asking her to marry you, so that means you have to be true to yourself also, if you're ready for a life changing commitment with her. Otherwise, if 2 people are in a committed relationship but not married, it's just fun and games.
As for demanding why she did "that" to you. Most of the time when we sneak around with someone else, it's not that we're trying to hurt anyone. It could be that she was trying to hide it so she wouldn't hurt you, or it could be that she felt romantic feelings for the other person, but was confused because you were in her life. Either way, you might never get the truth, so you should probably just forgive her if she actually offended you, and decide what you will do next with your life.
In my humble experience, when romantic love ends, it's always around the corner when we are emotionally and physically available, and it is just as beautiful the next time. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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