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i'm turning 18 this month and thoughts about what i've done with all these years are just coming up to me.
i was watching teenage series and suddenly I realize how boring my teenage life was. i didn't even got to experience sleeping over with friends, go to karaoke room with them, and the school romance experience i never had.
Though i did have one sided crush back when i was in 8th, 9th and 12th grade. During those years, the 9th and 12th grade were with the same person. After the pandemic, i was in the same classroom as him again. We talked before but never gained courage to tell each pther how we really felt. I experienced that steal glancing across the room, the lowkey flirting when we're in the same group, our small interactionsthat we hid from our classmates. I experienced that after all. However, it is not that good memory for both of us. We never got to talked about it. We never confessed to each other, we only talked when we're alone. There are times that we only talk about school but never about us. After all, we cannot be in a relationship. A very complicated.
Never been pursued, was never been confessed by someone, never been called pretty. I am just an average looking girl and I embrace this as me. Turning 18 this month and i'm happy that my teenage life is fulfilled by traveling memories with family. I canot hide that i'm not sad about not experiencing teenage love unlike the people my age did, but i'm contented that i made it this far and will continue to chase for my dreams and will patiently wait until someone right has been sent from above.
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