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It's me again ugh I know I said I was not going to talk to him but I can't help it. I want to talk to him. I want to see him. I want him to touch me to kiss me with his soft small lips. I want him so fkn bad that I don't care anymore. I just want him. I know I shouldn't he has a baby momma and a kid but omg its hard. I feel like a horrible person because I don't want to be in between what ever fkn relationship they have going on. BUT that fkn but doesn't let me I haven't talked to him in 2 week so I'm doing good because in a way I feel like I fkn deserve the best and not someone who has me questioning there fkn actions. Why do us girl do this? Talk to someone that gives us the bare minimum. We get so delulu and think things that are not even there. We get so blind sided by the little things they say or do that literally everyone does the same thing. We try to validate their actions by like making up an excuse on why they do the things the way they do. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't it be easy and simple? I know I shouldn't talk to him but I guess I like the way he makes me feel wanted. The way he touches my face feel real to me. The way he said he missed me. He did tell me they were not together when we first started talking he said he was not with her anymore that they co parent and she's very toxic. But I think want made me not believe him is when he said let's keep it low-key between us. Even thou I knew that my dumbass still was talking to him but I am aware of his intentions with me. They're bright and clear as day. I know he wants me but he doesn't care about me like that. I want him too but I do care about him that's the problem and I shouldn't care about him and I shouldn't even want him. it's hard but for now I'm going to keep my distance. It's for the best right.
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