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I have no idea who will see this, I have no idea who even cares, at this point. But the truth is, a lot of men are very lonely. Some men feel like people only want to be around them when they are needed, and are pushed aside as soon as whatever needs doing gets done. Some men are afraid of reaching out because of the great number of dangers have arisen in doing so. Some men simply have no one at all. And this loneliness doesn't just happen because the men are "bad people." Yes, some men really are bad people. But not as many as society would make us think. Trust me, the high self deletion rates in men is in no way only bad people. Many of them are lonely people who feel they have no purpose, nowhere to go, and no one to help them. What could possibly be the solution to this?
I have no good solution. No certain guarantee that anything I say will get better. But I do have this one thing. Men, you are powerful. But you are also living in the dark, heavy shadow of those bad men that exist independent of you. The jerks, the cheaters, the liars, the neglectful, the abusive, the SA-ers, etc. They are the minority, I'm sure, but they are prevalent enough that everyone must be wary of them. Men, women, and non-binary people alike. For some, that dark, terrible shadow is all they see men as. They acknowledge the worst of men, and perceive it as *all* of men. Or at least that *any* man could be one of the terrible people that continue to exist in our world.
To that end, like I said. Men, you are powerful. And you are not alone in whatever loneliness you may feel. Many people feel the same way as you, and it is not your fault. The solution to being lonely as a man isn't just "become a better person." Even if you do improve (which I do highly encourage), it may not solve the problem of you feeling like you have no one to turn to. However, finding fulfillment in yourself will give you a chance to be happy that no one else can offer you. Do your best, every day, to improve, or to strive for greater. Not because you're a bad person, and not because it will instantly attract friends or a lover. Chances are, it won't. And you aren't to blame for that.
But at the end of the day, you will always have yourself to turn to. So build yourself up, and try your hardest. Set goals for yourself, be they big and lofty or something small to pull yourself out of bed to make today better than yesterday.
No matter who leaves you lonely, you will always have you.
Don't give up. Never give up. Especially not on yourself.
PS: I'm not certified for anything. I might be wrong about a number of things. I'm no doctor or professional. I'm just...also a little lonely right now. And I want to share what I think to keep me going.
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ReplySimple explanation. Hehehe.
Reply"an artist must always set themselves to be so lonely, then they will come along with their greatest masterpiece" -pablo picasso
ReplyI know that you wrote this a while ago, but I just want to say thank you. Thank you for writing this. I am not a man but you have restored some of my faith in men. I don't know if you will see this or not. I am glad that I did see this. I have been in a slump, lonely depressed and not a fan of men at the moment, and for some pretty good reasons. I am not saying that I was shaming them all but you know what I mean right? Anyway, enough of my blabbering. I really wanted to say thank you and I appreciate you.
Reply