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I sometimes think I’m a psychopath or something. Have a one track mind, always. I think I’m very nervous, people make me nervous. But I always knew... It’s going to be great again. Y’all ever get to the point of thinking “I gotta get busy” but then stop trying because it’s too stressful? I feel ya. Personally if I don’t find my perfect hobby or something I can’t even begin to pretend to enjoy life. Something about how my brain works always makes me want to punish people with my negative thinking... Because people trigger me, and I know me being the feeble human being that I am I’m never going to win, in this world based on survival of the fittest... That’s why if I’m not gonna win I’ll create the war in my mind and we’ll meet at the end of time... When shit really goes down... We’ll see who wins then. Damn there’s just too much to be grateful for... If you never try or keep trying things are always gonna stay boring. I’m happy to be in a point of my life I’ve finally found my jam or my salsa... But, my emotions make me feel out of it sometimes. Whenever I’m cool with life and me having a mindset I come back to places where I remember what it’s like to lose it... My mom for example, she throws me off... But I still love her, it’s just her own insecurities projecting onto my insecurities... Or maybe it has been me all along! Which means it’s all in my head, I just hope it stays there but I could try to solve it or fix it before it happens externally... Because sometimes I like to make sudden noises in my environment to display my feelings of hatred towards my family... Hopefully I can keep it together.
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ReplyTrust me you'll get it together reading this reminds me of my self , your mind is your biggest enemy or your biggest best friend. It's a matter of mind control don't let that voice in your head project the way u perceive life. Taking everything yes it saved up in the brain like fucking I cloud but feeling those emotions from everything comes within the heart , I get the wanting to hurt people and that I guess what people call is survival mode just don't ever speak on what you really think. They'll come for you for that because we're different the way society works is very put together once the "different" starts realizing that its when they give you medications fucking say you have problems but you don't your just starting to realize the truth which they don't want you to know. Keep observing and being the best you that you are , think about every situation with everyone in your life maybe start shadow work connect with your higher self. Meditate , control the mind and the emotion. It's all going to be alright in the end ! Fr though look into shadow work I'm going to start it soon to connect with my self and get to know the real me hopefully it'll help
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