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I really want to give up so bad rn...Like give up on life...I'm always writing songs because that's the only thing that i can focus on...Hunter and i both apologized for what happened but he points out all of my insecurities and whenever he puts his hand on my shoulder i flinch and get really bad shivers down my spine...I love him and i'll be here when he's ready to be in a relationship...But he's also the reason i deeply thought about attempting at my life and almost did...But then i got caught up in my songs again and everything felt alright again...I know quit a few of you have read my songs that i've written on here, especially the ones about Hunter. Nine times out of ten, the only reason i can focus is because of the music i have to listen to because of my neurodiversity. If its too quiet, my brain will overwhelm itself and so i listen to music, but if its too loud, i get overwhelmed with the noise and end up having to listen to music any ways and i'm tired of it...
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