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As I'm writing this, I feel already stressed trying to come up with lines to say. I feel like I'm catching up my breath. I'm afraid to mess things up or speak in a way that someone would find it offensive and therefore offend me. Like the title says, I'm losing my mind and find it hard to rationalize things. I don't understand what good can come from me understanding things with my brain. Things are on the outside, and I'm in my body.
Is the sole purpose of our lives to feel good and ignore everything else? Whenever I'm listening to music, I try to enjoy it without stopping to think what it means. Or when I'm feeling good, the only thoughts on my mind are to give love back to others, but when I'm feeling pain then the only thing I can focus on is myself, the pain and healing.
So what can I do when, despite of everything, life goes on and no one will stop to think? I have put my problems to rest, I have let them be. Then I wake up to reality and nothing has changed, I live with the same fears.
There's an odd feeling of pressure coming out of things. I can't wrap my head around what it is. I feel like it's all too much but I can't live until I've considered it. Sometimes I just want a reason to believe, but I don't know what in the world is right anymore.
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