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I don't know why it happens. Other than the fact that I know I have depression. There are times where I feel it like a large crater in the center of my being that hurts and feels like I am going to be sucked into it. Turned inside out. Tumbling over and over into a void that is full of razor blades and rust. The universe feels like it is pressing in on me and pushing me out. Like I am not supposed to be here in this universe. Like I am some sort of foreign object that isn't supposed to exist. Like the universe doesn't want me and the only place that does is that vacuumous void in the center of me. That place where everything hurts and there is nothing else. Trapped inside my own mind spiraling. The screams and yells of thousands of voices deafening and yet I can hear my own screams. They aren't loud enough to drown out everyone else.
I hate when I feel like this.
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