The Accident - TW: Self Harm and Suicide

It was an accident

I promise

These fresh, new marks

I didn't mean them

Honest

It started

Saturday

That afternoon

I saw her, *her*

*She* was crying

Checking *her* phone.

Probably *her* dad

He's a bitch

But I saw it

And I panicked

I saw the role I would've played

I saw a girl

I don't know her name,

Comforting *her*

And I panicked

I didn't know what do

I felt.....

Stuck.

What I did know

Was that a blade would help

A rock

A screw

Anything

But there was nothing

So I spiraled

Deeper

And Deeper

And I started to think.

About how much I trusted *her*

About what *she* did in return

Then

I started to think

About you

And everyone else who loved me

I started telling myself

"Everyone I love

Always hurts me

Most even leave me"

So I spiraled

Deeper

And deeper

I started to hate the world

I hated everyone I loved

I hated everyone who loved me

And I started to give up on everyone

I wanted to lash out.

At everything

I was tired

And done

So I spirled

Deeper

And deeper

I wanted to die

I let my self

Envision all the ways

Thought about just walking away

Right then and there

I could see ahe highway

Could see the cars

Could see my body

I was just numb

And done

So I spirled

Deeper

And deeper

I started to hate myself

I don't know why

I was so angry at the world

Why not hate myself as well?

I stopped drinking water

Didn't see the point

Didn't think I deserved it

And I didn't stop it

I didn't care

So I spiraled

Deeper

And deeper

And that brings me to tonight

I wanted a solution

An escape

An option

Just incase

Saturday afternoon

Happens again

So,

I grabbed my old blades

Clenned them off

And tested them

I didn't mean to leave marks

But I did

I'm sorry

I promise

It was an accident

I promise