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What is the meaning of letting go if it's not going to work ever?
I think I have a condition called derealization. I just feel so lost all the time. It's either I listen to music for a few minutes and I get completely lost, or I shy away from the world and live under a rock and I no longer know where I stand.
What I gathered is that I go to sleep and recover each time. But why then must I go through this, like an endless loop? An endless loop of confusion and spiraling down...
So if I let go... say, let everything out, would I finally achieve peace? Peace of mind? Then how come I still feel lost and like I'm losing my mind and slowly going crazy? Maybe because I am... You know what? It was a bad idea to listen to music, and vibe with videos with no sound on my TV...
This surely does feel close to lucid dreaming, I'm just so lost. Tell me can you relate, or are you sitting there from the perspective of someone who hasn't yet experienced it?
If anything, as my last resort, I should rely on trying. Which sure doesn't feel like an option either... because this is not the sort of stuff you can just forget about. It feels almost like a heartbreak. Healing, relapsing; that's all I can do! Turned out to be longer than I expected. I am far and away beyond repair.
How about I lie to myself, saying it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Hopefully some day it's gonna be true. Fake it till you make it.
Help.
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You should try from forgiving you self. Don't say that you are crazy, you are not. You are not. Everybody has their own different understanding, the one who could not understand what you know will say that you are crazy, so don't try to compare what you understand with others. Some people are destined to understand limited things throughout their life, some are destined to understand some spiritual things. I think you just misunderstood your ability to see the unseen. You are perfectly normal for me. :D
ReplyWhen you say "it's gonna be fine", what do you mean by fine? What did you wish to happen?
ReplyWhat do you mean by what do I mean? I was just feeling a little bit out of it, that’s all. But this feeling is nauseating, that’s what I meant with “it’s gonna be fine”, just trying to convince myself of that... maybe one day’s gonna be true, that’s what fake it till you make it means. I’m feeling better now, just sometimes that “dreaming” state of mind comes back.
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