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I'm in a somewhat conflicted situation emotionally. I'm in a relationship for more than 4 years now and someone that I started talking with about a week ago is seemingly making that relationship null in me.
Throughout the years, we've had hardships, almost broke up twice (latest was at the beginning of September) but despite my efforts, the relationship itself seems to be dying and on its last breath. I can feel myself slowly, but steadily falling in love with this other person, but they currently have someone in their lives, not serious, but something.
Yet here I am. As I've mentioned, we've been talking for the past week and I constantly catch myself smiling uncontrollably whilst talking with them, and when I feel like I wrote something dumb, I start beating myself up over it, but it ultimately always turns out completely fine.
I've asked friends before for advice, but what they tell me is always a "just get rid of the relationship and start being happy for once", which does sound right as a start, but where to go from there. I don't dare to go into this without some kind of a prospect in sight.
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Why? What are you scared of?
ReplyMostly the trauma of 'ripping off the bandaid' and everything afterwards
ReplyI understand. Its hard to just let go of something you've known for years. Its dificult to just start over. Ecspecially with someone who doesnt know ALL the little things, or how you like stuff done.. A new person (for me atleast) wouldnt know how to love you like someone whos known you for a while. And thats the hard part. Id wait and see if you truly are falling out of love. Because even I have moments of feeling "out of love" and i give it a couple weeks, and then usually were ok. Its normal to have these bursts of unsurness.. Somebody "new" is intresting. But sincerley think it through, you must've loved your partner to make it this long. Theres clearly some part of you willing to be apart of a relationship with them or 4 years of love would've never happened.
ReplyTo an extent, I do feel that 'hard to let go of something I've known for years' feeling. I don't personally find it very difficult for someone else to love me and it's obviously weird on a whole other level that this new person came in the picture and I started to feel like I'm falling in love.
But I gotta add those 4 years had some very rough patches. Emotional and partially physical abuse as well as constant manipulation. And when I've come to realize how much all this has broken me, I tried to break it off. I really did. But once again got manipulated into a situation I did not want to be a part of. And this is the toughest part of it all. Somewhere deep down I still love them, but it's hard to ignore all that baggage.
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