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Remembering the times where my ex best friend would tell me "I wish you were a boy." I never want to hear those words from anyone ever again. When I first heard those words we were on face time joking around and do yknow when you're laughing so much but when you hear something that catches you off guard you just smile awkwardly and just say "what?" That's exactly what happened.
I liked her during that time but hearing those words made my heart hurt and chest feel tight like someone was pressing it hard. What made it even worse was that she had a boyfriend, and is still with him. She told me constantly she wished I was a boy. I hated it. She always kept leading me on I'm so glad we aren't friends anymore.
Sometimes I do wish I were a boy. I'm more hairy than other girls, I look just like my dad, my voice is slightly deep, I just overall think I'll look better as a boy. So hearing her say that made me want to transition into a boy just for her. I stopped wearing makeup, stopped wearing bright colors, started dressing like a boy would and just tried doing everything a boy could do. I do like being a girl but sometimes I can't help but want to be a boy. Not in a cute way silly way just for one day no I wish I was a cis boy sometimes but at the same time I don't want to be one I want to be a girl.
I can't help but feel I wasn't meant to be a girl. Most times it feels wrong to be a girl I don't look nice with dresses, heels, too much makeup, nice hair, or anything girl related doesn't look good on me like it does on other girls.
I wish I were a boy too.
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