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Sometimes I can't help but to wonder this. Classmates ignore me when I speak. They don't respond to my questions in group chats, and pretty much only acknowledge me when it is necessary for their grade. Professors probably don't even know I exist outside of when they grade my papers. They don't even say hello to me in the halls, but call out to other students. I feel invisible in this town, and I really miss home. I don't really understand what I am doing to be ignored like this. It's been like this my whole life. There are very few places that I have felt I belong in. If I disappeared tomorrow, nobody would think anything of it. I wouldn't even cross anybody's mind. My mom might wonder why I haven't called. I'm not suicidal or anything, so if you are reading this, please don't worry. I am just tired of always being alone. I am tired of feeling invisible, ignored, or judged by others. I am really tired of being at this school. I like the classes and the work, but I have never belonged here. And people have told me that directly to my face. The only time I am seen, is the same time that I am judged. I just need to graduate at this point. Get out of this town, despite the beautiful scenery. I want to get away from the ugly feeling. Even the fresh air suffocates me these days. My heart has been stuck in my throat for a while now.
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Stay strong. It sounds like you're almost at the finish line of this chapter of your life. Things will be better for you once you have earned your credentials and are free to choose your next path in life. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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