No love

I am like a dog. I will wait for you at the door as you leave to your job, hang out with friends, go over to your parents or grandparents house, go grocery shopping, go get the mail, go outside to water the grass, and so much more. I will even wait if you abandon me.

No matter how much I hate a certain person that I've had a connection with I'll still love and wait for their love back like a dog. I need the praise or I will become nothing without it. I need reassurance or I will drown myself in over thinking thoughts.

I bite and bark at you as you hurt me. I'll sink my teeth into your skin, ripping the flesh from your bone. But I will rip my own flesh and put it on your wounds for I feel like I was in the wrong when you touched me and my reaction was to simply defend myself. Even defending myself against my 'owner's crushes my soul.

I wagged my tail as you hit, slapped, punched and kicked me. I cowered at your feet in fear, begging for forgiveness but what I got in return was only pain. But it was okay, because it was you. My world. My life. My god. My sanity. My everything.

I let you slice my skin open, reaching into my insides. Clawing at my heart while breaking my ribcage to only to destroy it and never reach my heart. You're ruining me.

I let you caress my body with your rough bloody hands. I let you push me up against the way while you hand your hand wrapped around my throat, choking me with it. I let you slide off my pants without fighting, only for you to slide them back on because I wasn't 'putting up a fight'.

I learned not to bare my teeth at you because I knew what would happen. Would you have liked it if I barked, growled, bite and scratched you? I tried to before and you only left me with bruises on my body and cuts on my wrists.

I know I said when I hate a person that I had a certain connection with I'll still love them but for you, there is no love left for you. You ruined the innocence I had left. You ruined my purity. You made me dirty. You made me feel unholy.