mental wounds

whatever did open this wound between me and my mom, because she always makes me feel so insecure. some days feel like i'm doing wonder-fuckly until something happens and suddenly my mind is gone wandering around. sometimes i feel like giving something more to life and try for the hell of it, shouldn't it be that way? um, i try to keep it cool with my mindset but i get caught in the heat of the moment and lose it. it's really just one moment, self doubt entering and suddenly i lose it, feel the need to maintain composure at ease and that's when it really sucks. life is about showing how much you don't worry about things when you actually do, sometimes it just gets to the point you hope your day ends so that you could start again some other day. and that's where i am right now, sorry if it sounds like you heard this rant before but i don't care how much of a history i have with these rants as long as it helps me survive each day