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growing up i was always afraid to show interest in things or act the way i wanted. i dont know what made me feel so embarrassed but i do remember thinking my family was the reason. but whatever the reason, i want to grow again. i want to better myself.
but i know i am boring. i have alot if interests but i dont do anything to explore them. i wish i knew how. i get bored easily, why? i wish i could enjoy everything.
why cant i be interested in myself?
why am i not interesting
why do i have to have depression
maybe i need a change of perspective?
or maybe i should just kill myself.
god why am i so lazy to the point of suicide when i know how to solve it. why is it so hard. why cant i bring myself to do anything?
i could be happy right now.
is complaining my problem?
why am i not myself already
im going to grow old and not know who i am.
i wish i was never depressed
theres nothing to be sad about, yet i am.
was i meant to be a sad soul?
will i get better?
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