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I'm in grade 11 and I've been fucking stressed for the past two weeks over volleyball tryouts. It sounds stupid, but to me it's not. Volleyball is like the most important and popular sport at my school and everyone knows I play it. And I fucking suck. I hate that I'm so bad at it but at the same time I don't have the motivation to be practicing 24/7. So I probably sound kinda hypocritical. But it doesn't even matter anymore. Tryouts were last week, and I didn't go. Why? Because I knew I wasn't going to get in. And I guess its just less embarrassing to not go than to go and get rejected? And before you ask, I know I'll get rejected, because I can't even serve. It's been the one thing I can't do, and I've gotten so much shit for it. And I know I'll get made fun of. My first year in highschool, I was still playing rep (I don't anymore). I played my friend and missed my serve. Their team won by 2 points in the third set, but of course that didn't matter because all that mattered was that they won. And the next day she said, "Omg, yk the girl wearing the pearl necklace on my team? She literally missed her serve she's so bad. Isn't that so embarrassing?". Knowing damn well I missed mine too. I was a literal bench warmer for JV and my friend on JV made sure all my other friends knew. It's so fucking embarrassing I literally hate myself for it. So I didn't go to tryout. And I know people will ask about why I'm not on the team or why I didn't go or whatever. I don't even play during school breaks or whatever during open gym because I'm embarrassed. It doesn't help that like half of my friend group plays volleyball. And my volleyball friends keep making (unintentional?) jabs towards me. Like how it's embarrassing for people who aren't good at any sport. Volleyball is my only sport and I'm not good at it. And I've tried. I just, I don't know, don't have the strength for it or something. I don't know what's wrong with my technique. The tips I get at practice don't help. For some reason the whole grade knows I suck at volleyball. Two guys have asked me about it. They don't think I can get into varsity. I know I can't. I just, it's so fucking embarrassing for me and I know it's not even that important but it's actually haunting me. It's a big fucking deal to me. I used to love this sport and now I hate it. I just need advice or smth idk
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Hi! I don't play any sports really, so I don't fully relate to your situation, but I hope everything works out somehow :( I kind of get it cos I'm a grade 10 student who has similar worries, but moreso with academics and such. it sucks that what you used to love is now the thing that pressures you and stresses you out the most. You shouldn't have to feel bad and hate yourself especially for something like this! Skill is very important for volleyball and any sport, but firstly sport is your hobby and hobbies should be fun. Taking a healthy break (from anything really) when overworked/over pressured to prevent or stop burnout, and is hopefully a way to get back to loving playing. Another thing is that its not your fault if you aren't as good as your peers. Even if it seems like it to you it's not. Also, your friends shouldn't comment on things like that anyways, especially if they know how it affects you. I'm sure there was a point where you were really passionate about it, just remember that everyone works at their own pace and hopefully you'll be able to find that passion again. Although I know its easier said than done, I really hope you'll be able to play again, and even if we don't really know each other, I'm still cheering for you!
ReplyDon't beat yourself up. The majority of people who play sports in high school will never reach the pinnacle of the sport they play, the pinnacle being : professional level. High school sports are great for building comradery and learning how to work as a team, so perhaps focus on those things, and have fun. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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