Tired and Annoyed

Had a long-distance relationship with someone but she kept ghosting me and now hasn't replied to me in two weeks. AGAIN. It kinda pisses me off because yesterday she commented on my post. It wasn't even anything big, just the type of comment you'd probably make on a mildly entertaining post you came across on your feed. I'm 99% sure we ain't dating anymore, but the fact that she didn't even think of officially telling me pisses me off. This happened in one of my past relationships, too, where they blocked me and basically disappeared on me. Only unblocked and replied after months to my message, after which I obviously blocked them, but at least I can understand why they did it because I'd been dry and uninvolved in that relationship. This one though? I WAS a bit cold at first because I was scared of being clingy (what happened in the previous one I mentioned), but she openly admitted her clinginess and encouraged me to also be more clingy, so I started opening up more. Two years and suddenly she stops talking to me like this? I've had three relationships before and the first two ended because of my asshole-ness, while the third was mostly because of the other, but I was pretty cool in this relationship. I guess people just drift apart, especially in long-distance relationships. Still pisses me off though. I'm sick of this bestfriends-lovers-strangers pipeline I've gone through three times now. Can't I just stay best friends with someone without any of this bullshit getting in the way? Time to do some self-reflection.

My period also started today. UGH.

As for friendships, I think I'm doing alright there. My best friend has been dealing with a lot of stress for the past year because he's a highschool freshman (I'm a senior) and he told me he relapsed last night. Y'know, self-harm. I'm really worried about him. I've also been trying to help him out by doing some of his homework for him because he does online schooling and his teachers are uninvolved dickheads. Crazy that I'm doing most of the teaching. He said that he'll be going to public school next year though, so that's sick news! He's a smart kid and I don't want him to be held back by a stupidly stressful and high-level online school that emphasizes independent studying and whatnot.

He'a also been having problems with their love life. He's like the opposite of me when it comes to love life stuff. I never get a crush on anyone, only really get into romance stuff when someone asks me out first, and am also appallingly dense sometimes, while he gets crushes every other week, almost always asks the other person out, and tends to mistake jokes for genuine flirts. Most of his exes have been assholes. That being said, I really hope he finds someone better this year. Maybe even the love of his life who loves him back tenfold? That would be great. He really needs it.

I also made two cool new friends last month! One through shared music taste and one through... shared silliness? The latter expressed an interest when I was ranting about a particularly hard puzzle in a parser and we bonded over that. Now they're showing me their favorite show, Supernatural. I'm loving it so far. It feels great to have someone get you into their interest. Jensen Ackles is freaking hot. I don't know if I can cuss on this site and I'm too lazy to check. Anyways, they love Dean and I do, too. I can't help but laugh every time he does that signature Handsome Flynn Rider expression, though.

So things are alright overall, I guess. For me, I mean. I hope my best friend gets to chill soon. 15 assignments overdue is CRAZY. I mean, two or three more days and it'll be Thanksgiving break. They've gotta have at least that. So yeah. It feels good to write all this out.