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Yep, literally, I ran away from home. Context = had a huge fight with my parents, and they made me feel so low and all the insecurities and overthinking that I tried to not feel or think about just exploded within me, and I decided to ran away.
At first, I thought what a great decision I made. I managed to be free from my parents, my family. I found a place to live within a day, then I bought some necessities (since I literally ran away with nothing on me except a phone). But then, I started thinking about everything. I thought about my college life, like, how am I going to continue after this. Can I survive working with only a high school degree? And am I going to really do this? I never ran away before, and after all other thoughts, I realized I may have been too rash and definitely insane by doing this. And because of this, I am very disappointed in myself, because I have always pride myself for being told for being mature than most my age, and I have always been rational. But the things that I did, it's definitely not rational and very immature.
Which is why, call me being a hypocrite, but for those of you who ever wants to run away, please think twice about it. Unless you're very sure and thought about everything, then by all means, go ahead. But you know, now that I thought about it, running away is very similar to killing yourself, at least for the consequences. Both actions has the same consequence, which is you'll be leaving all your loved ones behind.
Luckily, I have parents who still love me and still want to take me back, and even encouraged me to come back home. Unfortunately, there are some things that makes me uncapable of coming back home, but I am doing my best right now to undo the damage that I have made. This can be also another consideration for those of you who wants to run away: think twice about the things that you want to do, since every causes has an effect.
One last thing, if you ever want to run away, make sure you have made all plans necessary, from the beginning till the end. Honestly, from what I experienced, I highly suggest to never run away, because running away is a 50-50 chance that you'll succeed. But of course, everyone has their own problems and situations. If your situation is very bad and you have decided that it's very necessary for you to leave, then by all means, go ahead, no judgments here.
That's all I can say I guess, I honestly feel guilty for having run away, it's a very selfish, cowardly move in my situation, after I think about it. That's why I'm writing here, since I need to get it out of my chest. I wish that no one else will experience the same as me, let it be only me that has ever experienced this. Live a good life everyone.
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