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I already know i have anxiety and its bad, but there's something else. I'm lonely and there's thoughts in my head that dont leave me alone. I feel tied to this routine, this life. I hate myself, body and all. But its not just physical features; its my personality and voice, laughter and quirks. Even my talents. I FREAKING HATE THAT I AM GOOD AT THINGS. i hate the attention to detail i have. I hate being a GIFTED STUDENT because im braindead and burnt out. Ive tried. Ive tried. Ive tried ive tried. And i dont want to get back up. My family is falling apart and im scared. My brother makes so many stupid decisions. I love him so much. My dad. He. He loves me. But he makes me feel terrible. But he treats me well. But back to the point. I cut myself. Lots of lines. //////// i like to watch myself bleed. I want to go deeper. How deep is too deep? Today i had a thought. A bad thought. I've been collecting broken glass. Its very sharp. Sharper than you'd think. I want to gouge my skin. I want to go so deep that i bleed out and die. I feel so broken. I want to be free. I dont want to exist anymore. I don't want to try. I dont want to go to Heaven anymore. I just want to be gone. I just want to die.
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I feel you so much in all aspects of this. I hope u find answer soon. I hope your head clears
ReplySo, you have talents you're good and gifted with certain things. Don't you think it would be such a waste of them if you just threw your life away? You can like now or in the future use your talents to help others whatever they are. I'm sorry you and your family are having issues. You can't control what they do. I used to self harm too I still have the lines where I did. Its just a reminder of what I've been through. Don't go any deeper because you'll regret it I nearly did. I hope for your own sake you can stop. Your life matters more than you realize. Throw the glass out. Your life's worth living I don't know your age but I can tell you its worth living. I hope you find the answers and peace you're looking for. If you're religious or whatever prayer can help. We all go through struggles in life but they get better with time usually. I hope things get better soon xx
ReplyThank you thank you thank you. Thats why i havent ended it; because i have potential. I didnt use the glass, but i did cut a little deeper. I am religious and i did pray. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond <3
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