Guilt

I’m pretty sure my brother got diagnosed with autism a few years ago after my dad passed and the most gut wrenching part is we all ignored it and was basically like whys he acting so weird. It didn’t even cross my mind that he may have had some slight autism, I mean he was having trouble socially mentally and just a hard time living and we were all to high up on our horse to break it down and give him some comfort. I was thinking tonight that he was left in the dark for the longest time. He lived in a homeless shelter and worked there I mean my family is a blue-collar working class and I think we all thought he needs to get his ass up and work. But now I’m realizing that he didn’t have the confidence and support.

I feel so bad I wish I could go back and help him cope either the loss of our dad and struggles of not being able to be a person. First I thought it was all the flu shots but now I think his brain just couldn’t put the pieces together. And there we were embarrassed of him ashamed he’s fallen down the gutter. I feel awful but it’s not all my fault my mom has been so narcissistic whenever she’s around him he can’t talk and be his normal self it’s so sad I feel just awful. He’s doing okay now he’s the manager for a moving company but he does have anger issues. Really sheds the light if you refuse to notice someone’s emotions and disability’s.