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i'm trying. i'm trying so hard to be good. i'm not trying to be ungrateful or spoiled or selfish or a bitch or shitty or a victim. i just want to be normal. i'm trying so hard to be a good person. but even that's a lie. and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for lying, for not doing work, for missing deadlines, for not responding, for being so rude to you, for crying over stupid shit. but i am trying. at least, i've tricked myself into thinking i am.
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